i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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