$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
