sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
