We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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