I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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