Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
