The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
