So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
