I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
