Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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