What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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