Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
