He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
