very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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