he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
