Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
