A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
