Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
3 2 1 whiskey
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
