It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
