Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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