OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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