I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
