pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
