we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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