thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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