You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
