Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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