stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
