But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
