Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
