Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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