im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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