Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
