We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
