Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
