ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
