this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
