the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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