Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
