Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
