I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
