I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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