just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
