She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
