I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i would punch a child for taco bell
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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