I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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