Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
