I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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