Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
