I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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