Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
