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party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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