we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
