Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
