Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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