If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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