You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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