So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
