If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
