what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
