My first STD was from a foam party
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
