I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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