im having a threesome with these popsicles
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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