Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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