if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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