That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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